Oh give thanks

Well Thanksgiving. You came, I conquered. Yesterday I woke up and Cindy was on my heart. I started to call her but I was rushing for work (as usual) so I said a prayer for her and her family. I'm not sure why God placed her so heavy on my heart but he did. Today, Cindy invited me over for Thanksgiving dinner because I have no family here. I am so glad she did. If you have never met a person with the heart of God, give me a call and I'll show you where she is. It was relaxing to be with her because I felt like, if I cry for what seems like no reason at all, she will understand. I almost did cry seeing the story about CHM on the news today. Not a sad cry, but tears of joy. Joy because baby-loss is becoming less of a taboo topic.

In other news, the holiday season is here and it makes me miss Cameron like never before. I was supposed to have a 3 month old. I wish I was changing dirty (cloth) diapers. I wish I was breast-feeding. I wish I was waking up for a baby crying instead of my own. But I'm not. My son is dead. And it hurts. But there is a rainbow after this storm. When I think of all the plans I had for Cameron's life, there is one plan that is more important any other. I wanted him to go to heaven. And he did! And when I think about holding my son, I pray and ask God to cradle me in His arms, so that I can be next to Cameron. For that I am thankful.