Friday

Not a day goes by when Cameron Xavier doesn't cross my mind and I love that. Last night at our LAMBS meeting I was able to talk about Cameron freely and without shame. I wish I could do that everywhere I go, but unfortunately the talk of a child in a cemetery makes others uncomfortable. I guess I can't expect everyone to understand, but I wish like heck they did.

I wish Cameron could tell me what heaven is like. I know it's wonderful because it's heaven. This may seem like a random thought (ok sort of) but I often wonder if my angel is watching me. He has to be, I think knowing he is with the Lord is what dries my tears. But I just wish he wasn't untouchable, I mean I would pay $.10 a min to talk to him. Of course I wish he were here for me to change his diaper and things, but if I can't have that, can I get a letter from God telling me he's doing well? I'm gonna end this with something Robin posted on Facebook.

"Dear God, I would have loved to have held my baby on my lap and tell him about you, but since I didn't get the chance, will you hold him on your lap and tell him about me?"