Now...

Now, a post for what this blog is about. Cameron Xavier. My sweet angel. I miss him everyday. They say this thing gets easier. It gets a LITTLE easier with time. I mean I can get dressed and eat food without crying. But there is a hole in my heart. A piece of me is in heaven. I cry sometimes because I think about what he would have been like. What kind of mother I would be. I get sad when I think about what could have been. What should have been. I get mad when people don't understand that I am a mother. I get upset when I see mothers that could do better. I get really mad when I see a child mistreated. I am very hurt when people don't understand that I will never have a child. Another thing that ticks me off is when people joke about pregnancy. Can you believe someone started a rumor that I am pregnant? What a silly thing to say, especially since I can't have children. Clearly that was started by someone that doesn't know me, but I digress. I miss my baby. I want him here. But I can't have him. It sucks, it hurts, but God has comforted me in amazing ways. He has truly given me a peace that surpasses all understanding.