As we near the end of another year it is normal to reflect. In my situation it sometimes seems hard to reflect because, I feel stuck. I feel like I'm stuck in April. Like anything that happened after that just doesn't even matter because Cameron is not here to share it with me. But I have started to accept that Cameron is not here. Cameron has passed away from this earth, but thankfully not away from my heart. That is where he lives. That very special place in my heart and no one can take that away. I am thankful for his short, but very meaningful life. He taught me how to love. Not that I have never loved before, but I had never loved like that. I have never loved someone so dearly, that I would have traded my life for theirs. That's how I loved Cameron. I would have taken his place in heaven. But he is waiting on me. And whenever God decides he needs me, I'll be ready.
No this is not a post to say I'm dying. Just to say I finally have come to terms with the fact that all life ends. Some end earlier than others, but God's timing is always right. I believe Cameron's biggest purpose was to open my eyes to the calling on my life. God knew that I would want to be close to Cameron. So he took Cameron with Him. I have no other choice but to totally surrender my life to God's will for me.
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